Got something on your mind? Email me. Did your question not make the cut? Use the submission form next time. Finally, support Right Down Euclid while you’re at it. As a nonprofit, independent news organization, we can only survive so we can provide our award-winning independent journalism and Cleveland sports coverage is through financial support from readers like you. On this edition of the semi-regular Right Down Euclid mailbag, we’re talking about Dalvin Cook to the Cleveland Browns, weight loss, how much I hate Ted Lasso and so much more.
Should the Browns go after Dalvin Cook to back up Nick Chubb?– James
So, as NFL Network’s Tom Pelissero first reported, the Minnesota Vikings are expected to release four-time Pro Bowl running back Dalvin Cook today if they fail to find a trade. ESPN’s Adam Schefter also said that the Miami Dolphins and my Denver Broncos are expected to be interested suitors in Cook when he’s officially released. Both Miami and Denver make sense as teams that heavily rely on their running game to generate offense — ditto for the San Francisco 49ers, the Cleveland Browns and the Chicago Bears.
When looking through that lens, Cook makes sense for all of these teams as an upgrade, his injury concerns be damned. When factoring in each team’s depth charts things become a bit murkier for Cook joining certain squads, the Browns included. Cleveland didn’t immediately try to re-sign Northeastern Ohio’s own Kareem Hunt in free agency. The Browns also didn’t select a running back in the 2023 NFL Draft either. As of today, Jerome Ford, who Cleveland drafted in 2022 is star back Nick Chubb’s primary backup heading into the upcoming season. After that, you have Demetric Felton and John Kelly to round out the remainder of the rotation.
Obviously, Chubb will be the thoroughbred on the ground for the Browns. Ford, meanwhile, will be utilized similarly to Hunt due to having an interchangeable skillset. Felton will be all over the field as a rushing threat, a slot receiver and a punt returner. Finally, Kelly likely won’t see much action for Cleveland considering he’s only appeared in five games over two seasons with the Browns, generating 13 yards on two rushing attempts.
Technically speaking, Michael Woods II, Donovan Peoples-Jones, Anthony Schwartz and even Deshaun Watson will also gain yards on the ground and are not running backs by trade. So outside of Chubb, Ford, sometimes Felton and the aforementioned group, it appears the Browns are set for the time being for a league-best rushing attack. Granted, things can change between now and the lead-up to the season. But, I personally have my doubts anything will change – especially when adding running back depth wasn’t a priority for Cleveland this offseason.
Sure, Cook has the experience and history with Browns head coach Kevin Stefanski in their time together in Minnesota. On paper, he would make a lot of sense for Cleveland to take their rushing attack to the next level. But you need balance elsewhere on the roster and that’s where trying to bring in a big name like DeAndre Hopkins makes more sense. The only way it could work is if Cook is fine with taking a substantial pay cut but even then, I have doubts about it.
Is there a time when I should just give up and accept I’m going to look like Kevin James? Or should I continue sweating at the gym until I return to some semblance of a former self that I once knew?– Michael
I’m going to be answering this from a place of ignorance. Mind you, I answer EVERY question in these mailbags from a place of ignorance, so this won’t be all that unusual.
Progress always feels slow regarding weight loss because, unfortunately, progress is always slow. Progress is also slow when trying to get in shape because weight gets harder to burn off as you age. But they can come off if you mind your diet, stay as active as possible and most of all remain reasonable about expectations. You’ll feel good about your effort and won’t feel like shit because you didn’t eat poorly or remain sedentary for hours.
And I know it’s hard to accept this, but you won’t look how you did in high school ever again. People’s bodies don’t remain static and are incredibly dynamic. That means wearing the right clothes isn’t surrendering to who you are now, but being a bit more accepting of the person you are currently. I have shirts from my younger Evan days that still fit, and I also have plenty of shirts that have been donated to charity after finally understanding I just am who I am, and it’s ok!
Even in the age of body positivity, standards for what constitutes a healthy weight remain impossibly high. This is true even at your doctor’s office, where everyone who isn’t on their deathbed registers as medically overweight. So I can be in great shape and count my calories, yet I still have moments where I look in the mirror and feel disappointed in myself.
You must envision a middle ground between perfection and discomfort because that’s where most people always live, whether or not they’d like to admit it. It takes time to come to grips with this and work to improve yourself in a way that makes you happy from there. I have plenty of fourteen-year-old douchebags that feel the need to comment on my weight whenever their mom gives them their iPad back after passing an Algebra quiz. Does it sometimes trigger my body dysmorphia? Sometimes. All I can say to that is fuck them.
The good news is that you’re already doing much of that work, so you should be proud. I’m proud of you for it. Just keep at it. Besides, if you somehow look like Kevin James (I doubt it. Society puts a lot of unrealistic pressure on everyone), you can create this iconic moment whenever:
I was hoping you could share a little more on why you are the worst Cavs reporter out of the bunch?– Tim
I appreciate you taking the time, energy and resources to reach out! Clearly, you don’t think I’m the absolute worst if you did that for me.
What do you think the Cavs should do with their pick?– Ethan
I think, ultimately, they should trade it. Sure, the Cavaliers could add a player and develop them with the Charge to be a roleplayer down the line. But they also can’t afford to sit on their hands and wait for depth to develop when they have to try and win now to maximize the opportunity with their current roster and convince Donovan Mitchell it’s worthwhile to spend his prime in Cleveland.
What’s something you find incredibly overrated that everyone loves?– George
I cannot thank you enough for giving me this. I was waiting for somebody to ask a question like this.
I hate Ted Lasso.
The concept of some random hayseed coaching a Premier League club makes sense on paper. But, only as a British-style comedy where everyone is incredibly mean-spirited and dry. Or just general weirdness and awkwardness also known as cringe by the kids in general. It’s what made The Office successful in its limited run. It’s what makes Monty Python considered by many a staple of comedy. It’s why I think Cunk on Britain is so clever and witty – just from its sheer absurdity and ability to stick to a bit.
Instead, Ted Lasso is rebranded American Imperialism, where the weapon we’re using is being nice. In this show, you don’t get the typical notes of what makes a British-central show successful. Instead, good old-fashioned American positivity will conquer the world and fix everyone’s problems by being wholesome. It’s tedious and anti-television in my eyes and the characters are nothing. There are revelations of trauma, and then the issue is immediately solved through said trauma being dumped and this bumpkin wandering into their lives and being nice to them. After that, everything is wiped instantaneously and it just feels so incredibly fake and hoaky.
Every plot beat and note is just designed to make you a better person when you should strive to be a better person. Which, yeah, you should always strive to be a better person and I totally understand allowing a piece of media to give you perspective on certain things. If you’re a regular follower of my work you know I always talk about it. (See here, here or here for examples.) But, the objective of improving falls flat when a show like Ted Lasso only goes surface level on this, without expanding upon it with nuance or anything to make you actually think.
Unfortunately, a lot of media is like this lately where everything is cooked up in a corporate think tank where they want to be safe but not too safe. It’s what happened with Star Wars going from The Last Jedi to Rise of Skywalker. Trying something new or dark or different or ignoring at least the basic parameters surrounding it doesn’t do it for me. If you want something better than Ted Lasso and it takes way less time to consume, watch Major League. There’s a Cleveland throughline in there for Guardians fans as well.
With that said, hopefully, I like Succession when I finally get around to watching it.
Evan Dammarell is a sports journalist covering all things Cleveland right off the shores of Lake Erie. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. You can also email him at email@example.com. He can also be found three to five times weekly on Locked On Cavs, a part of the Locked On Podcast Network.
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